


Real McCoy, The

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-11-05
Updated: 2001-11-05
Packaged: 2018-11-21 00:32:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11346312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Alex gets ready to host his first Halloween Party with Walter





	Real McCoy, The

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

 

The Real McCoy by D. W. Chong

AUTHOR: D.W. Chong   
TITLE: The Real McCoy  
RATING: R for implied m/m sex  
PAIRING: Sk/K  
CATEGORY: Humor  
WARNING: pun ahead! Run for your lives!  
SUMMARY: Alex gets ready to host his first Halloween Party with Walter  
DEDICATED: To Lorelei, who asked for it.  
NOTES: Just a quickie.

* * *

The Real McCoy  
by D. W. Chong

Walter Sergei Skinner had officially retired four years ago. Unofficially, he had spent the subsequent nine months baby-sitting his one-time executioner and resurrectionist, Alex Krycek, while he healed from injuries sustained setting up the most decisive --if covert--terrestrial battle between the Alien Resistence and their Oilien opponents.

Two years and five months ago the Rebels had declared the Earth safe from invasion --albeit there were still pockets of colonists of both stripes planetside.

Two years and three months ago Alex had watched Walter dump C.B.G. Spender's lifeless body into a D.C. incinerator while he poured out two very generous glasses of twenty-five-year-old scotch. "Let's see the old bastard resurrect his ass from *those* ashes!" He said as they clinked their glasses and toasted a job well done. They proceeded to take the party home, and, once they had drained the bottle dry, Walter had asked Alex to be his unlawful, unwedded partner for life. Alex had agreed. They had immediately fucked each other blind and passed out.

One year ago, Walter began to feel like he had actually made the right decision. That this relationship, carved out of hard times, was solid enough to last till death do them part.

One month ago, casually, over breakfast, Walter broached the idea of entertaining a group of their friends at their house for Halloween.

"You want us to host a party --for Halloween --for your friends?" Alex stuttered adorably.

"Your friends, too," Walter repeated, hoping he had not just invited the law enforcement equivalent of the Hatfields and McCoys to his relatively new house in their definitely quiet suburban sanctuary.

"You want me to meet your friends? --to meet *my* friends?" Alex burbled happily.

"Uhhh..., yes, Alex, that's if you want to."

"Of *course* I want to!" Alex enthused. "It'll be *great*! I'll make over the whole house! We'll have costumes and bob for apples and --and we'll host the best party you've ever seen!"

"Uh..., costumes?" Walter said trepidaciously.

"Don't worry, Walt! I'll take care of everything!"

And, just like *that* ::snap!:: Alex Krycek transformed into Susy Homemaker.

He bought decorations and partyware, lights, eerie noise tapes, trick toilet monsters, and enough fake cobwebs to shroud Lady Liberty. He bought enough mustardy yellow foam sheeting to pad two king-size beds and glued them into strangely familiar shapes. For Walt's costume he fashioned a rectangular box with a casket type dome lid, but sans one end. Spray painted blue, and with its out-sized black plastic 'handle' and chrome 'latches' attached, Walter recognized --at last- a lunch box, turned on end.

For his own costume, Krycek seemed to repeat the domed lid theme, but with rounded out edges and a flat base, which reminded Walter of a bus without wheels. Alex sprayed this 'bus' with tan spray paint to give it a 'golden brown' 'baked' look. Then Alex cut three evenly spaced circular holes into the flat base. The bottom two holes he covered with white fabric, (the middle patch being Velcroed on to allow him to use his hand), the top hole he covered with several layers of white gauze, (so he could see and breathe without ruining the 'look' of the 'hole'). The bottom end of the costume, where the flat base met the elongated dome end, he left unglued, so he'd have a means of entering his 'casing' (and walking in it). He finished off his costume with a white unitard, white sneakers, and white 'cartoon character' gloves.

The morning of the party, Walter awoke to the spectacle of Alex in full regalia rifling --awkwardly with his gloved hand extending from his middle hole- through his dresser drawers.

"Aha!" Alex grabbed and flourished a pair of white jogging shorts.

"Alex, what are you doing?" Walter asked somewhat bemusedly. "The guests aren't due to arrive for, oh, eight hours or so."

"I know that Walter, but I had to have time for you to help me finish my costume. Lucky for you, I only have two holes," he said, promptly kneeling on the bed, his airborne ass pointed in Walter's direction, allowing the former A.D. an unobstructed view of the sizeable rip along the unitard's mid-seam that exposed the little rosebud that was Alex's anus.

Walter felt his cock engorge at the sight, but he forced himself to think of sewing kits. He didn't think he could do the unitard justice, repairwise. "Jesus! Alex, that's brand-new lycra-spandex!"

"Yeah! The things I sacrifice for authenticity."

"Huh?" Walter grunted, thoroughly confused.

"Please, Walter," Krycek entreated as he wriggled his ass. "I can't very well be a genuine Hostess Twinkie without some creamy white filling!"

###

END

  
Archived: November 02, 2001 


End file.
